Unexpected
by Kira Regulus Black
Summary: Harry's got a boyfriend. Only, not one can tell who- or what he is... SLASH, Ron/Draco. WARNING: Don't look at the characters if you want this to be a genuine surprise.


NOTE: Pairings are SLASH. NOTHING REMOTELY EXPLICIT, but there you go. ALSO! THIS IS FROM RON WEASLEY'S POV.

"Talking"

_Emphasis/Thinking_

* * *

><p>I laughed. It sounded more like a hippopotamus snort, even to me.<p>

Harry stayed dead serious.

"I'm not joking, Ron."

I continued to smile- somewhat dementedly, in my opinion. I couldn't very well stop.

"Harry, you're the Chosen One. The Boy-Who-Lived. Half the Wizarding World expects you to settle down with a nice witch and raise dozens of Harry-clones. Screw that. The _whole_ Wizarding World, excepting me, Hermione, and a few others."

Harry gave me a _Look._ I raised my hands in defeat.

"Okay, maybe we thought so, too. But that was more of a you-need-to-be-happy-more-often thing. You tend to get chased by insane psychopaths a bit too much for my liking."

Harry shot me a relieved glance, some of the worry etched in his face dissipating.

I thumped him on the back encouragingly. "Don't worry. No one in the Order will care worth a puffskein if you're gay. Maybe Ginny, but she was always more of a fan. She'll pout for a few days, scream, then find someone else to fantasize about."

"I did _not_ want to know that, Ron." Harry buried his head in his hands, blushing fiercely.

I laughed. "Yeah, she has her own Harry Potter life-size doll and everything." I teased, my eyes shining.

"WHAT?" Harry fairly shouted in abject horror.

"Yep, sleeps with it every night."

"Oh Merlin."

"And every night-"

"Shut up, Ron. Please, spare me the details." Harry mumbled, his face crimson.

I laughed again at the look on his face. "SO! Who's the lucky guy?"

Harry looked grateful for the sudden change in topic. A smirk spread across his face.

"Tell!" I begged. (I later denied all knowledge of puppy dog eyes.)

Harry shook his head, eyes dancing. He looked surprisingly like a certain Slytherin.

I flushed and changed my tack. "I'll tell if you do."

"That's no secret. Everyone knows you're dating Hermione."

I leaned back smugly. "And that's where everybody's wrong. I like Hermione as a sister. I'm dating Draco."

"Then who-"

"Hermione's dating Krum. It should be on the cover of Witch Weekly by the end of the week." I shook my head theatrically. "Merlin knows how she stands it."

It was hilarious to watch Harry's mouth gape open like a fish.

"H-how…When?"

"Your turn!" I chirped.

The smirk reappeared. "Nope, not telling."

"You promised!" I protested indignantly.

"I promised nothing."

I glared at him. "Tease."

Harry laughed. "You'll find out at the next Order meeting. He'll be there." He leaned forward. "But _Malfoy_?"

"He's not that bad, actually. It's his dad. You-Know-Who, and all that."

Harry nodded sympathetically. "I'll take care of it."

I blinked, startled. "How?"

He smiled. "I have my ways."

"Spoilsport."

"Nosy."

Harry dodged my swipe and retreated down the stairs, snickering. Laughing, I followed him.

oOo

"Does anybody have any questions?" Dumbledore called from the head of the table.

I idly brushed a beetle off the table. As everyone got up to leave, the doorbell rang. Harry darted into the entrance hall of 13 Grimauld Place, his eyes shining. I followed him.

"-you're here!"

He flung the door open.

I blinked. Somehow, I had expected someone more… spectacular. Instead, this… faded… looking man stood there.

He had washed-out brown hair, nondescript grey eyes, and a bland, genial looking face. For the life of me, I couldn't understand what Harry saw in him.

I stayed quiet. It wasn't my place to comment. It was Harry's boyfriend, and Harry was my friend. I would stick by him, no matter who he chose.

The rest of the Order and Ginny clattered up behind me. Harry fairly hung off the man's arm.

I snuck a glance at Ginny.

Surprisingly, she didn't look too upset, staring at Harry's boyfriend with a slight blush on her cheeks, fairly drooling. I felt mildly- okay, more than mildly disturbed.

Harry turned to us, breaking into a huge grin. "Meet Tom, my boyfriend!"

Ginny, I noticed, looked particularly heartbroken.

Dumbledore smiled pleasantly and twinkled back. "A pleasure, my boy. It's nice to see that Harry has someone to care for him. How, exactly, did you two meet, anyway?"

Tom flushed slightly, awkwardly glancing at the floor. "Er…"

Harry jumped in, eagerly chirping "We met in Diagon! Right, Tom?"

Tom looked distinctly relieved. "Yes, though I think we ran into each other a few times before that. Never really _talked_, though."

"You should be careful in Diagon Alley." Dumbledore cautioned. "There have been a number of raids by Voldemort recently."

Everybody except me, Hermione, Harry, Tom, and Dumbledore jumped nervously.

I was used to it. Harry had gotten me out of the habit. It was just a name, really. It couldn't even be tracked inside the Fidelius charm. Hermione never really saw the point of the whole exercise, and Dumbledore was… well, Dumbledore.

Tom was strangely unaffected. I filed the thought away for later, when I had more information to think on. Snap decisions were often deadly. I winced as I remembered the Goblet of Fire and the complete arse I had been.

"-on, Tom! Race you to the corner!" Harry shot out of the door.

Tom watched him go, a strange half-smile adorning his features. He gave us an apologetic shrug, then took off after Harry. He was a _lot_ faster than he looked. Most of us just watched him go in shock, our mouths hanging open.

Dumbledore simply twinkled and popped another one of his ever-present lemon drops in his mouth.

As soon as they were out of sight, Ginny broke down. "Two of the hottest guys I've ever seen, and they're both taken!" she sobbed.

I looked at her strangely. "Um, Ginny?"

Ginny ignored me. "And his eyes! The most gorgeous sapphire…" she fell into a daze.

My head snapped up. "Sapphire? His eyes were grey!"

"No, they were brown!" argued Tonks.

Dumbledore looked at us quizzically. "I could have sworn they were golden…"

My eyes widened. "Quick, everyone! What did he look like? I saw faded brown hair and grey eyes."

"Red-gold hair and sapphire eyes." Ginny contributed.

"Brown for both." said Tonks, snapping her gum bubble.

"Black hair and gold eyes." said Dumbledore.

"Green eyes and auburn hair." Remus looked tense. "And he was a werewolf."

"No, he wasn't." Moody stumped into the room, his eye spinning wildly in its socket. "I would've seen. Blue eyes and silver hair. Looked dyed, too. And he wasn't wearing a glamour."

"Moody, my senses have never been wrong."

"Well, neither has my eye." Moody retorted.

"Hazel eyes and blond hair. He wasn't wearing a glamour, as far as I could sense. And his occlumency shields are very strong."

I spun around hurriedly at the sudden voice behind me.

Snape continued. "In other words, Mr. Potter is now out who-knows-where in London with a very powerful wizard that we- he _thinks_ is his boyfriend." He broke off to sneer. "Wonderful. Potter strikes again."

"Severus." Dumbledore chided.

Snape's sneer simply grew more pronounced.

Tonks and Shacklebolt held Remus back as he strained at the door. They were fighting a losing battle. "Let me _GO_! Harry's in danger!"

Tonks grew a few tentacles that attached themselves to the doorframe with a wet squelching sound. It groaned ominously.

"Remus, you don't _know_ if he's in danger! Charging out and interrupting his date will do no one good!"

"We don't know if he's safe! He could be being kidnapped!"

Shacklebolt was turning red from the strain of holding an angry werewolf in check. "Bollocks! Trust Harry's judgement, if nothing else! We're doing all we can, and _you're NOT HELPING!_"

Remus grudgingly relented. Tonk's tentacles disappeared, and the two massaged their sore arms gratefully.

"Get on it." he said, his voice clipped. "If I don't see Harry by sundown, safe and sound, I _will_ go, and you will _not_ stop me."

Tonks nodded crisply. "Understood."

The Order scattered.

oOo

A few hours later, the bell rang again. I ran to answer it, since it was my shift for "door-watching." The Order had decided we would never get anything done if everyone was constantly checking the door.

Fred- or was it George?- followed me closely.

I flung open the door.

"Ron?"

It was Draco. George (Fred?) made kissing noises behind me.

I flushed, and shoved him out of the entryway.

"How- What- What- When-" Draco stammered.

I looked at him sharply. "Er, what?"

Draco stared. "When the hell did you manage to convince someone to tell my father to piss off? He _listened_. The only one he listens to is the Dark Lord!"

I gasped. "C-come again?"

Draco glared. "How did you convince my father to let me date you?"

"B-but I didn't!"

Draco paused and looked at me oddly.

"No one else knew, Ron. No one except me, you, and my father. And he wouldn't…"

We stood there, stumped.

Suddenly Draco laughed. "Does it matter? I mean, the main thing is, I _can_, now!"

He swung me around the entrance hall, planting a soft kiss on my lips.

I melted, all thoughts of this latest conundrum vanishing from my mind.

oOo

"Oi! 'Lo, Ron!"

I grinned at the familiar shout, the rest of the Order jumping to their feet. Draco smiled placidly from his place at my feet. My hands tangled in his hair. He didn't seem to mind.

Harry trotted in, his hair wildly sticking up in random directions. He didn't seem to mind much that he had been missing in muggle London for the past four and a half hours. Typical Harry.

"Pup!" the door was nearly smashed in by Remus charging to meet Harry, his golden eyes betraying his worry.

Tonks and Shacklebolt narrowly missed being flattened against the doorframe by the force of his charge.

An anxious werewolf checked Harry over completely for any wounds, hugging him frantically. Harry laughed, reassuring Remus he was fine repeatedly.

"Oh, can Tom come over? For dinner?" Harry asked, his eyes sparkling.

Dumbledore twinkled, a sly light appearing in his eyes. "Of course, Harry. I think we'd all be delighted to _see_ Tom again so soon."

His emphasis did not go unnoticed.

"Great!" Harry chirped. "I'll tell him to come, say, six-ish?"

"That would be fine, yes."

"K, bye!"

Harry ran out the door again, this time to apparate.

I was silent, thinking over his unexpected visit.

…Was it just me, or had there been a devious glimmer in Harry's eyes when he had spoken?

oOo

It was obvious. That much I knew. Harry's boyfriend had to be someone we'd all seen, knew. Someone we never suspected. Someone we'd never _thought_ of suspecting.

The clues were all there, in my conversations with Harry, in our meeting with Tom. It should have been obvious. But it wasn't. I knew _I should have known _who he… she… it was. It could have been anyone, anything. And yet, somehow, I knew it wasn't that complicated. That the answer was, in fact, right under our noses.

I growled, rolling over on my bed and staring at a wall plastered with orange Cannons posters.

They waved at me cheerfully.

I growled again and punched my pillow.

They tsk'ed.

The answer was right there, right in front of me…

I fumed, glaring at orange posters.

oOo

Draco arrived at half past four; Harry just five minutes later, his only explanation a shrug and an 'I was bored.'

Tom followed Harry inside, dressed more subtly now in casual black slacks and a robe over an emerald sweater. He looked the same as ever, though, with faded grey eyes and disheveled brown hair.

I frowned, and could see various Order members in similar states of bewilderment. I flicked my wand at him, silently casting a 'Finite' when his back was turned.

Nothing. Not even a flicker.

He turned around and I glimpsed his face. I _swear_ he _smirked_. Then Draco dragged me into a Quidditch argument. I could have screamed of frustration.

Dinner was quiet and not very informative, a polite conversation involving most of the people at the table. I sat silently and mechanically chewed at my food, hardly realizing what I ate.

"So, Ron and Draco are dating? Official, now, is it?" Harry remarked from across the table, reaching for the mashed potatoes.

Mum banished them gently with a flick of her wand, sending them gliding over to land with a thump in front of Harry.

"Yes, dear, and I can't think what made Lucius change his mind. He was so insistent before, too."

"Yes, and he never listens to anyone…" Draco remarked thoughtfully.

A small snippet of conversation flooded my mind.

'_He's not that bad, actually. It's his dad. You-Know-Who, and all that.'_

_Harry nodded sympathetically. 'I'll take care of it.'_

And another.

'_When the hell did you manage to convince someone to tell my father to piss off? _

And another.

_The only one he listens to is the Dark Lord!'_

And another.

_Snape continued. 'In other words, Mr. Potter is now out who-knows-where in London with a very powerful wizard-'_

I choked on my pumpkin juice, face suddenly pale. _He didn't…_

"Anapneo." Tom murmured.

I glanced under the table at 13½ gleaming inches of pale yew, my hopes vanishing faster than if a Dementor had sucked them away. _Definitely_ who I thought it was. Joy.

I sputtered a while longer, though no longer in serious danger of asphyxiating. The extra time under the table wouldn't hurt my chances of not looking like I had narrowly escaped death, either. Though, technically, I had.

I snuck a look at "Tom" though my eyelashes, pretending to gasp for breath. His eyes were distinctly amused, as if he knew the whole thing was an act, and _there_ for a second- if you knew what to look for- I could see a glimmer of blood red crimson.

This time I really did pale.

I could see in his eyes that he knew I knew, and that he wouldn't hesitate in killing me if I ever revealed his identity. Along with everyone else in 13 Grimauld Place. Except, maybe, for Harry. Or not.

I was on dangerous ground, and I knew it.

I spent the rest of the meal shooting glances at "Tom" whenever his eyes were turned. I know he probably caught at least half of them, maybe amused by my terror.

There is a certain level of terror, where, your mind simply shuts down. My body continued to eat regularly, animatedly discussing pranks with Fred and George as my Mum looked on disapprovingly.

My mind, however, was in a haze of terror, only my legendary Gryffindor courage (or stupidity) allowing me to act like normal. Or normal in the Weasley sense of the word.

It still took every drop of courage (and quite a few mental death threats to myself) to excuse myself shortly after Harry and follow him out of the room.

There, I rushed him up the stairs and into my room, casting every anti-listening, safety, and secrecy spell I could think of on the door, short of the Fidelius. The list was impressive. A couple could probably have been labeled as 'dark,' and most definitely were not Ministry sanctioned. I had learned them from Bill, not that I was going to quibble at their origin. They might gain me a few seconds advantage against "Tom," when he finally arrived. Maybe. If I was lucky. Luck was not synonymous with Weasley.

Harry simply sat on my bed, raising an eyebrow at some of the shadier wards.

Finished, I turned to him, a thin sheen of sweat on my face from magical exhaustion. Wards were hard to cast, even temporary ones, especially when one meant to protect against someone as strong as "Tom."

Harry looked at me seriously. I broke the silence first.

"Harry?" I asked, trying to keep the note of hysteria that had crept into my voice from being to obvious. "How did you start dating Voldemort?"

Harry cocked his head to the side and stared at me calmly. "Met him about two months ago at a raid on Diagon, started dating. You're fine with that?"

I let out a shaky breath. "As much as I can be, when You-Know-Who-"

"Tom." Harry interrupted.

"Fine, _Tom_ is less than ten feet away, no doubt listening in at this very moment."

A shlucking sound made me spin around, my wand trained firmly on its source.

A neat, black-haired teen stood across the room from where he had apparently _fallen through the wall_, his crimson eyes glinting in humor. I recognized Ginny's description from the Chamber.

"Riddle." I breathed out, my face probably the colour of snow by now. Quite possibly paler.

He crossed his arms, pouting darkly. The expression looked foreign on him. "Weasley." He retorted in a voice as smooth as silk.

He flicked his gaze to Harry, who had a slight smirk on his face, emerald eyes amused.

"This is as lovely as the birds chirping in spring." he remarked dryly. "Kindly drop the wand, Mr. Weasley. Unless this is how your kin normally treat guests."

I tried to keep my voice steady. "Normal guests don't walk through walls. Or warding spells."

Voldemort smirked. "Touche."

Harry got to his feet as the pounding on my door began.

He looked at me pleadingly. "You won't tell?"

I smiled weakly. "For anyone else I would say they were crazy. You, I can handle. Er… how exactly-"

Voldemort interrupted. "Out the window."

He scooped up Harry, then shooting a smirk at me, jumped out my window. A soft popping sound echoed and I felt my wards dissolve. I staggered from the backlash. He must have been helping maintain them…

"Ron, we know you're in there! Where's Harry?"

I grinned and opened the door. Draco stared, along with the rest of the Order.

"Ron," he said slowly. "We just tried every unlocking spell we could _think_ of on your door. Please don't tell me it was open _the whole fucking time?_"

I shrugged nonchalantly. "You wizards. Don't bother to check before you start slinging spells."

Draco ground his teeth audibly.

I continued. "You do know Harry has an invisibility cloak, right? I wouldn't put it past him to sneak past you in that little commotion."

Draco swore and raced downstairs, Tonks, Remus, and Dung hot on his heels. Though Dung was probably only going to save his secret stash of stolen items and cheap junk from being discovered in the search about to occur. The rest followed at a more sedate pace.

I laughed, wondering where Harry was.

"Thanks."

I jumped at the disembodied voice next to my head, then grinned and waved.

A shimmer in the air waved back at me- then disappeared.

oOo

WEDDING BELLS

by Rita Skeeter

The Boy-Who-Lived is shortly to become the Boy-Who-Devastated-Millions-Of-Girls as he is rumored to be planning to marry, according to an anonymous tipoff. But just who is this elusive, lucky man?

See pg 2 for "Love in the Air: Chosen One Spotted with Boyfriend"

See pg 3 for "Mystery Man"

IDENTITY REVEALED

by Rita Skeeter

The man who crushed many dreams with his conquest of Harry Potter has finally revealed himself! One Tom Marvolo Riddle married Potter at 10:53 A.M. in front of Hogwarts, much to the current Headmaster's distress. "A perfect match." declared one Mr. Ron Weasley, close friend of Harry Potter, his boyfriend Draco Malfoy agreeing. Headmaster Albus Dumbledore declined to comment.

See pg 2 for "A Perfect Match: Opinions of Hogwarts"

See pg 3 for "Young Love"

See pg 4 for "Dumbledore's Reaction: Finally Senile?"

PEACE AT LAST?

by Rita Skeeter

At precisely 12:00, the infamous You-Know-Who is scheduled to meet with Minister Cornelius Fudge in a private meeting room in the Ministry of Magic to end a decades old war that has ravaged England since shortly after the Defeat of Grindlewald. Wizarding citizens are conflicted: Could this truly be the end of the war?

See pg 2 for "Differing Opinions"

See pg 3 for "Nargles in the Wild: Existance Finally Proven"

See pg 4 for "Potions and Herbs: A Practical Breakthrough"

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><p>AN: I'M SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG ON S.A.L. *breaks down* Heh. Anyway, hopefully, this kinda makes up for some of it. I had this lying around for a long time, finally decided to publish it. Though I'm not sure what possessed me to make the pairings Ron/Draco. And Harry/Tom, but I actually like Harry/Tom.


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